Irreducible Needs of
Children for Them to Grow Jin Gyung Park/Yang In their book, The Irreducible Needs of Children: What Every
Child Must Have to Grow, Learn, and Flourish, American pediatrician T.
Berry Brazelton and child psychiatrist Stanley I. Greenspan divided the needs
of children into six categories that must be met in order for them to grow up
healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, morally, and socially. First, children need a stable and continuous nurturing emotional environment.
Especially for children under the age of two, supportive, warm, and nurturing emotional
relationships with caregivers (primarily parents) are the most important
foundation that will affect their entire lives. The two authors above emphasize
that frequent changes of primary caregivers during this period can hinder the
child's stable emotional development. It is said that children's intellectual
development, social development, and moral sense begin with loving relationships
in childhood. In addition, it is very important for children to have sufficient
emotional relationships with their parents at home in order to fully develop
their abilities as they grow up. Second, children need physical protection and security. Children
should be protected from physical abuse or violence. Parents should not abuse
or use violence against their children, but they should also protect children
from exposure to abuse or violence through media. Third, there is a need to consider individual differences among
children. Parents must recognize that children have different temperaments. In
addition, children show distinctive characteristics in terms of the speed of
physical and intellectual development. They also have other types of talent,
various levels of intellectual ability, and different learning methods.
Therefore, parents must respect their differences. Fourth, there is the need for developmentally appropriate
experiences. The two authors above consider playing one of the most important
experiences for children to grow. Parents can play peek-a-boo with their infant
child. They can play hide-and-seek, and word games or board games as their
children grow older. They can also play wrestling with boys and thread games
with girls. Even if parents do not play with their children, they should
encourage children to play with friends of the same age. Children also need to
be encouraged to play by themselves in their imaginations. Children learn many things through playing. They learn to respect
rules and learn how to interact with other people. In the process of learning
rules, they also develop intellectually. Children feel love through sharing
emotional interactions with the person who plays with them. Many parents do not
realize the importance of playing with their children and only emphasize the
importance of studying from an early age. It is said that children who play
enough at an early age tend to develop more creativity than those who do not. Fifth, children need limits in their behaviors and appropriate moral
structure. Parents should set boundaries for their children’s behavior to
develop their morality. Children can feel secure when they grow up in a
structure with certain moral rules. These days, many parents raise only one
child. They need to realize that the more precious the child is, the more they
should not forget that setting limits for behavior is for the child’s benefit.
When teaching morality to children, parents need to know that children learn
through their parents’ example. They also need to know that children do not
want to let down the expectations of those who love and care for them. Sixth, children need stable and supportive communities. This
recognition of the importance of communities is the unique contribution of the
authors to parents. A community, above all, provides a protective wall and a
sense of safety for children. The first and most important community that
children experience is the family. Children interact with their parents in the
family and feel protected and safe. The community also provides a sense of
unity, connection, and belonging. The sense of unity, connection, and belonging
that children gain from the family is also experienced through other
communities that they encounter as they grow up. They learn to form social
relationships through those communities. In addition, the community also plays a role in teaching children
responsibility. For the community to continue, each member must be able to
fulfill his or her own responsibility. In order for children to learn to act
responsibly in the community, it will be helpful for parents to assign
appropriate responsibilities to children at home. It would be good to learn
from an early age that household chores are not something that parents alone
should do, but rather that all members of the family community should share. Community also plays an important role in the lives of parents. For
Christians, the community has significance in many ways. Christians not only
practice their faith as members of a large community such as the church but
also share close loving relationships with members through a small-scale
community such as a cell group encouraging each other’s faith. Children learn
to share relationships with people close to them by following their parents
through large and small communities. A community is an important group that sometimes provides comfort
and encouragement during difficult times. In particular, children in their
teens need to experience belonging to large or small communities at school or
church in addition to the family. During this period, they may experience
confusion and loneliness as they seek psychological independence from their
parents, so having a community where they can share their feelings will help
them have psychological and emotional stability. Therefore, parents raising
teenagers need to support their children’s participation in healthy
communities, including the youth group at church. Encouraging children to
participate in retreats or volunteer activities will provide them with a good
opportunity to learn a sense of unity and responsibility through the community. A community also plays an important role in the formation of
self-identity in adolescence. In the process of seeking an answer to the
question, “Who am I?”, understanding their own identity as a member of the
community to which one belongs is also an important way to discover their
uniqueness. In that sense, it can be said that it is an important
responsibility of Christian parents to help their children find their own identity
within the religious community as they pass through adolescence. | 
